Cloudy, with a Chance of Fruitcakes

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Buying & selling stuff on Craigslist and eBay sort of scares me, in a thrilling / adventurous way.   You meet all of these people that you maybe normally wouldn't.  I'll be honest, many of them are complete fruitcakes. In fact, I've often wondered that given the cross-section of humanity I've experienced buying and selling old stuff on Craigslist, what sort of relationships can be built from those people-seeking-people ads.   Just know, I'm not besmirching genuine mental-illness, so keep that dramatic hatemail to yourself.   

I should also pre-face this that I apparently possess a force-of-attraction for crazy.  in Example:  A friend and I were having lunch in Gulf Shores a couple years back.   This guy comes up to him (we are seated) -

"That is a NICE jacket.   Really nice.  (Long, lingering pause.....Like..a full minute...  then points to his truck) Can I have it? My dog is cold."

Jared looks at me, completely baffled.  My response. "Yeah, sorry man. It's me.   Happens to be all of the time.  I attract them, apparently."

So, in honor of the parade of Fruitcakes that I've met buying and selling stuff on Craigslist, I thought I'd compile a list of my favorite nuttiness for your reading pleasure.


"My uncle was a co-founder of Kodak.  He invented the darkroom enlarger and has patents for most parts of camera internal mechanisms. "
    <- I asked his uncle's name..... He didn't know. Witness protection, perhaps? ;)

"I used to work in a secret government facility, experimenting with alternative energy during the Carter Administration.   We had devices that could generate 50kw of electricity per hour just by processing the water in the air.   I can't show you the plans because I'm under a federal gag order and they are watching me."

"I was in Nagasaki when the bomb hit, taking pictures. I used a Canon AE-1 Program."  
     <-  He was less than 50 years old in 2013.  The AE-1 program came out in 1981.   Math, mkay. :|

"Sorry, I can't pay you more than $400, KEH underpaid me for my gear."
     <- was wearing a $15k gold watch, $300 shoes, driving a beamer, wearing a freshly pressed San Destin shirt, bragging plenty about his uber-succesful career

"When I grew up, my dad was friends with the Shah of Iran, he had a place in Summerdale, we went over to his house all of the time."

"I'm a journalist and I found Pablo Escobar in Columbia in 199x.  He's after me now."

"I actually created Pac-man.  The Japanese stole it from me b/c my daddy flew in the Dolittle raids during WW2."

"Stephen Nodine was actually framed, it is a Neo-Nazi conspiracy because he had a falling-out with the leadership in Elberta."


At least these fellow travelers in the adventure of life aren't boring.    :)