Miles for President!


Hi there.  My Name is Miles and I'd like to introduce myself and announce that I am running for President of the United States.  If you'll indulge me, I'll take this time to run through my platform.  Together, we can reshape America for a brighter future.

Obviously, I'm Pro-Life.

I come from a modest family.   Growing up in a middle-class household with loving parents who have instilled upon me virtues of faith, free thought and social responsibility.  My dad is a Software Engineer and my mother, a school librarian aide.    Mom was a great home maker.   Dad worked a lot but worked from home so he could give us appropriate attention.

You could say, I'm a heart-land bible-belt candidate from working class origins.

I am strong on defense both at home and abroad.  

If elected, I'll push for a mechanized standing army of Autobots, led by an engaging and wise battlefield leader named Optimus Prime.  Michael Bay will assume the role of Secretary of Defense.  We will install a grid of U.S. based radiation detectors in order to protect our cities from nuclear terrorism.

We will stop funding NASA but will reprovision appropriate engineering talent and resources to a new branch of Military, known as Starfleet.  The United States will no longer provide funding for the United Nations.  The current US based UN Headquarters will house a new, aspirational organization to be called The United Federation of Planets.

I am bullish on transportation.

All road construction projects will be immediately terminated.   Existing interstates will be minimally maintained but phased out by the end of my term.   The FAA will be abolished, replaced by "Federal All Things That Fly Association" FATTFA.   FATTFA all oversee mandatory standardization of flying vehicles and site-to-site energy-matter conversion technologies to be phased into the national transportation infrastructure by the end of my first term.

Political Reform

During my first term, we will send the House of Representatives and Senate home for good.  Both buildings will be used instead as a nationally-funded daycare for Virginia-Area families.  Similarly we will do the same with State Legislature and Governance.   

The representative Democracy implemented by our forefathers will be replaced with a more modern, actual-democracy.  

Each Citizen will be issued secure, tablet-like devices in which to vote on Bills.  These devices will be manufactured by Fisher Price, Apple, Playskool and Samsung.  

Bills can be drafted by any citizen and submitted for vote with minimal sponsorship of 10 other citizens.  A Bill becomes law whenever an actual majority passes the proposal by vote.  We vote quarterly.
Terms will no longer by limited or guaranteed.  The skeleton government's officials can be replaced at any time, given similar voting procedures.  Including my office.

If a state wishes to secede from the Union, they may do so.
Each citizen will be required to pass a minimum intelligence test to be granted citizenship.  Exceptions will be made on a case by case basis.  The borders will be open but toll-based.  As will trade.

The Marines and SEALS will immediately abduct the leaders of Toyota and Honda, placing them in charge of GM and Ford.

The IRS will be abolished, as will all personal and corporate income tax.  The U.S. Treasury, U.S. Customs & Federal Reserve will be combined into a single department, the U.S. Department of Monetary Policy.  It will be headed up by Apple's board of directors and Warren Buffett until such time the American people vote in new leadership.

Under the new Tax Code, the U.S. will become very desirable for businesses. Manufacturers all over the globe will clammer for the privilege to be stationed here.     There will be three sales tax rates.   A discounted U.S. Citizen sales tax, an elevated non-citizen sales tax and a highly-elevated foreign-entity sales tax.   
Once the country becomes profitable, as I'm sure these men can guarantee - US Citizens will be paid a nominal, reverse-tax from the Government.

The education system will be reformed.   School board members will be dismissed and replaced with parents in accordance with the voting policies above.   The Little Einsteins will be put over the Department of Education.
Nano-Brain-Control Technologies will be developed.   All inmates, currently convicted of capital offenses will be given such implants.   They will replace U.S. military stationed abroad.  Those soldiers will control the actions of inmate-drones via an MMO-type interface. This will provide a stop-gap measure as the Iron-man suits and Transformers are developed because capital crime will no longer be tolerated in our nation.

Disney Imagineers will build for our nation, a few floating, manufacturing centers away from the mainland.   All remaining inmates will be sent to provide a labor force for these manufacturing centers during the course of their sentences.

Cigarettes will be outlawed until such time as non-cancer inducing formulas can be developed.  Marijuana will be legalized so that those people will finally shut up.

Angry Birds will be granted national subsidies so that all levels will be free.

Finally, we will enact F.D.R's proposed 2nd Bill of Rights.

I believe together, we can achieve real change in America.  :)

Oh wait.  I'm only two and a half -- never mind - maybe later.